This update is a few days late. We had an appointment on Wednesday and have been trying to process coherent thoughts since then. I will try to make sense.
The blood work showed normal hormone levels. As a result, we still do not have a problem to fix.
We plan for me to start a round of Clomid in a few days. A round of Clomid involves taking one pill a day for five days. Clomid is intended to fix issues that I do not seem to have (ovulation/luteal phase issues, for those of you who want details). It's kind of a starter drug for infertility. The doctor said he has seen it help people like me. At the same time, he emphasized that more than three years of trying to conceive is not a great sign. If Clomid doesn't work, we will have some difficult decisions to make.
Since they haven't found any issues that warrant a specific treatment, the next steps are very much up to us. We could repeat the ultrasound for signs of endometriosis. Two years ago, it cost $675 and showed nothing. We could both have the initial tests done again to see if the results are different. Even if they were different, the doctor says they would have likely been at least as good at some point in the last three years. We can go to a specialist, who will likely have us do all of the above plus a laparoscopy. We can skip right to the laparoscopy. The HSG will most likely cost us around $1,500 total. The laparoscopy is a surgery involving anesthesia and would be in the thousands for sure. We do have insurance, but much of the expenses would be out-of-pocket.
And then you have the stewardship issue. I only have one body, and we have limited funds. How much poking, prodding, and medicating is wise? With a medical problem, people often have the option of living with the problem or treating it. They have to decide if the benefits of the treatment outweigh the side effects. I'm not going to say their decision is easy, but at least it makes sense. We are faced with basically trying treatments for an unknown problem. Clomid MIGHT work. It also might cause other problems, like cysts that require surgery. We are willing to take the risk, at least for one round.
I think we have decided to avoid surgery unless medically necessary. If it becomes clear that I have severe endometriosis that needs to be treated, we would consider laparoscopy. If not, we won't (I think).
Okay, so that means we would be at the end of the line. Already. I know there are many other things we could try: diets, NaProTechnology, cleanses, acupuncture. I just don't want to waste our time and money. We want children. We don't want to pour endless time and money down a drain that may lead nowhere.
And so, we could be close to pursuing adoption. As I have shared before, we always wanted to adopt at some point. We planned to adopt after having a few biological children (I guess that could still happen). For some reason, the realization that we might choose to stop fertility testing/treatment soon comes as a shock. Clomid could be the last thing to try, then we might be done.
I thought I would be a mess when faced with the likelihood of never having a biological child. I'm not. I don't know why. I guess I feel like choosing adoption now doesn't mean we can never resume infertility testing. Maybe I will be a mess tomorrow, but I'm not today.
We could really use prayer. As you can see by this atypically long post, we have a lot to think about. Please pray that the Lord would guide us clearly, that we would truly seek and desire His will rather than our own. Please pray that Clomid would work. Please pray that God would build our family in His perfect way. Thanks for your prayer and support.
Showing posts with label Tests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tests. Show all posts
Friday, April 4, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Fine Meets Unfriendly
So, I was in the clinic for about ten minutes total and am just fine. The blood draw was quick and not bad.
On another note, I have decided to consciously be friendly. A simple smile, "please," and "thank you" really don't take much time or effort, but boy do they make a difference. When I called the clinic the other day, the lady said no unnecessary words. Zero. Rather than say, "May I have your name, please?" She demanded, "Name?" Then, "Date of birth." It was awkward, and I didn't feel cared about in the least.
Today, the phlebotomist was the same. "Sit here for me," she said. I said, "I haven't historically been great with needles." No response. No small talk. She just did her thing and left the room. Across the tiny room, another phlebotomist was making her patient feel comfortable by conversing with her. I awkwardly guessed how to exit. Hopefully, I wasn't supposed to check out or anything, because I didn't.
It's not that hard to be friendly. If you are in a job that deals with people, especially nervous people, you should make an effort to be friendly or at least warm. That's my two cents.
Anyway, I'm fine. The test results should be ready on Monday. I'll keep you posted.
On another note, I have decided to consciously be friendly. A simple smile, "please," and "thank you" really don't take much time or effort, but boy do they make a difference. When I called the clinic the other day, the lady said no unnecessary words. Zero. Rather than say, "May I have your name, please?" She demanded, "Name?" Then, "Date of birth." It was awkward, and I didn't feel cared about in the least.
Today, the phlebotomist was the same. "Sit here for me," she said. I said, "I haven't historically been great with needles." No response. No small talk. She just did her thing and left the room. Across the tiny room, another phlebotomist was making her patient feel comfortable by conversing with her. I awkwardly guessed how to exit. Hopefully, I wasn't supposed to check out or anything, because I didn't.
It's not that hard to be friendly. If you are in a job that deals with people, especially nervous people, you should make an effort to be friendly or at least warm. That's my two cents.
Anyway, I'm fine. The test results should be ready on Monday. I'll keep you posted.
I'm Going In
I'm going in for lab work today, even though the results may not be helpful. In my opinion, the point of the lab work is to determine what happens in a "normal" cycle. We already know this cycle is abnormal (I blame the HSG, but the nurse said it wouldn't mess things up), so how can we expect the test results to be normal? I guess it will be nice to have some results to review at the appointment next week.
After our first appointment, we scheduled a follow-up for two months later. Those two months were supposed to follow the "aggressive" plan. Instead, we are scrambling to pull together at least a wee bit of iffy information. At least the HSG finally happened.
Anyway, you may remember that I'm not fond of needles. Due to a really busy day at work, C cannot come with me. I've never gone alone. This could be interesting.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Distractions and a Possible Delay
You may have noticed a lack of new posts lately. I apologize. At the same time, no new posts means I probably don't have new information and am not in need of typing therapy. So, the lack of new posts has been a good thing for me. I have been way too distracted to blog.
Last week, several friends came to town for an alumni event at C's law school. Although C ended up being out of town for the work part of the time, we both enjoyed several gatherings with friends.
On Sunday, my in-laws came to town. We were having far too much fun (in spite of another random snowstorm) for me to sneak away and blog.
Although infertility is a common topic of thought and conversation, distraction really helps. Who wants to mope around when there is something more fun to do? Not that moping is ever fun, but you know what I mean. Sometimes, we just need a distraction to snap us out of a downer mood.
In other news, the lab work that was supposed to happen soon may be delayed again. Maybe the HSG confused my body or maybe I got a little too distracted, but we might not be able to predict the right day to do the tests. I'm planning to contact my doctor today to see what he recommends. We are scheduled to meet with him next week to determine our next steps. Not having the lab results could prevent us from moving forward. It would be quite frustrating for a delay to directly be my fault, but there's nothing I can do about it now. We will see what happens.
Last week, several friends came to town for an alumni event at C's law school. Although C ended up being out of town for the work part of the time, we both enjoyed several gatherings with friends.
On Sunday, my in-laws came to town. We were having far too much fun (in spite of another random snowstorm) for me to sneak away and blog.
Although infertility is a common topic of thought and conversation, distraction really helps. Who wants to mope around when there is something more fun to do? Not that moping is ever fun, but you know what I mean. Sometimes, we just need a distraction to snap us out of a downer mood.
In other news, the lab work that was supposed to happen soon may be delayed again. Maybe the HSG confused my body or maybe I got a little too distracted, but we might not be able to predict the right day to do the tests. I'm planning to contact my doctor today to see what he recommends. We are scheduled to meet with him next week to determine our next steps. Not having the lab results could prevent us from moving forward. It would be quite frustrating for a delay to directly be my fault, but there's nothing I can do about it now. We will see what happens.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Upon Further Review - An HSG Result Update
This blog is called "The Sea of TTC" for a reason. We were floating along yesterday and got sideswiped by an unexpected wave. It didn't tip us over, but we're a little less steady that we were before.
I received a call from my doctor yesterday. Apparently, the radiologist reviewed the results of my HSG again and noticed signs of abrasions (scar tissue) on the right side. Since the dye traveled through correctly during the test, the doctors are confident that the tube is not fully blocked. The scar tissue could be a sign of endometriosis, but doesn't look like it could be enough to cause infertility. Either way, the other side shows no signs of scar tissue.
So, what does this new information tell us? Good question. Basically, my doctor doesn't think our plan should change at this point. We still plan to check hormone levels in a few weeks. After that, we might try Clomid. However, if hormone levels are normal, no other red flags appear, and conception still does not occur, we may be faced with more invasive testing. First, we would probably do another ultrasound. If the ultrasound seems to also show scar tissue on the right side, our next step would be a laparoscopy.
Laparoscopy is one of those procedures we said we probably wouldn't do. It's an actual surgery involving anesthesia, incisions, and inflating the abdomen. Basically, it's a "let's get in there and see what's going on" procedure. On top of being very invasive and somewhat extreme, the procedure would be expensive. According to my estimations, our infertility expenses have already reached about $2,000 (the ultrasound was around $675, and the HSG was $900+ before insurance). The laparoscopy would be $1,000 to $5,000, although we don't know how much our insurance might cover. That money could be a great start to an adoption fund. In addition, the laparoscopy might not even fix anything. There is a chance they could open me up and find nothing interesting. So then, we would have spent a lot of money and put my body through surgery for nothing.
So, how much money should we spend and how much should we mess with my body? We don't know. Thankfully, we don't have to decide today. Maybe we will find a hormone problem. Maybe Clomid would work. If it doesn't, we will have some very difficult decisions to make.
I told C that I had two greatest fears in this process: 1) That we would receive the "unexplained infertility" diagnosis 2) That we would be presented with a next step and choose to walk away. While I am prepared to walk away if IVF ever becomes our only option, this one would be a little less clear.
And so, the process continues.
I received a call from my doctor yesterday. Apparently, the radiologist reviewed the results of my HSG again and noticed signs of abrasions (scar tissue) on the right side. Since the dye traveled through correctly during the test, the doctors are confident that the tube is not fully blocked. The scar tissue could be a sign of endometriosis, but doesn't look like it could be enough to cause infertility. Either way, the other side shows no signs of scar tissue.
So, what does this new information tell us? Good question. Basically, my doctor doesn't think our plan should change at this point. We still plan to check hormone levels in a few weeks. After that, we might try Clomid. However, if hormone levels are normal, no other red flags appear, and conception still does not occur, we may be faced with more invasive testing. First, we would probably do another ultrasound. If the ultrasound seems to also show scar tissue on the right side, our next step would be a laparoscopy.
Laparoscopy is one of those procedures we said we probably wouldn't do. It's an actual surgery involving anesthesia, incisions, and inflating the abdomen. Basically, it's a "let's get in there and see what's going on" procedure. On top of being very invasive and somewhat extreme, the procedure would be expensive. According to my estimations, our infertility expenses have already reached about $2,000 (the ultrasound was around $675, and the HSG was $900+ before insurance). The laparoscopy would be $1,000 to $5,000, although we don't know how much our insurance might cover. That money could be a great start to an adoption fund. In addition, the laparoscopy might not even fix anything. There is a chance they could open me up and find nothing interesting. So then, we would have spent a lot of money and put my body through surgery for nothing.
So, how much money should we spend and how much should we mess with my body? We don't know. Thankfully, we don't have to decide today. Maybe we will find a hormone problem. Maybe Clomid would work. If it doesn't, we will have some very difficult decisions to make.
I told C that I had two greatest fears in this process: 1) That we would receive the "unexplained infertility" diagnosis 2) That we would be presented with a next step and choose to walk away. While I am prepared to walk away if IVF ever becomes our only option, this one would be a little less clear.
And so, the process continues.
Monday, March 17, 2014
My HSG Story
If you have been following our infertility journey, you know that the HSG (hysterosalpingogram) has been a long time coming. Today was finally supposed to be the day.
Not to be dissuaded by snow and icy roads, we made the trek to the hospital this morning. After getting checked in, I was told to change into hospital gowns. Thankfully, these gowns were modest, because I was going to be in them for a long time.
The nurse did an initial X-ray, then we proceeded to wait for my doctor. He had been in the building early today, so they assumed he would show up. Nope. The nurse called the clinic and everyone tried paging him. Finally, they got him. Apparently, there had been a communication mixup, and he would arrive in forty-five minutes if we wanted to wait. Since this is the only day the procedure could be done this month, we were going to wait as long as needed.
I'm glad we did. My doctor showed up, and I have to say that he was worth the wait. They had suggested trying to get another doctor to perform the HSG, but I'm very glad we didn't go that route. I would guess that the doctor makes a huge difference in the experience. He is very good at explaining things and goes out of his way to make me comfortable, even in the midst of pain.
While this procedure is not a walk in the park, I can emphatically say it was NOT as painful as childbirth. I would describe it as awkward with a side of severe, localized cramping. Thankfully, the most painful part was pretty quick.
You may remember that I was hoping for slight blockage to be removed with minimal amounts of pain. Well, the test showed no problems. While relieved that no problems were found, we were a little disappointed to not get answers. The doctor explained that he is very encouraged to not find problems at the HSG phase, as any problems would be difficult to fix and would likely point to IVF as the only option. So, that makes us feel better.
I also told him about some random weird symptoms I've had. He listened and relieved a lot of my fears. A good doctor sure makes a difference. And so does a sympathetic, gentle, and patient husband. C has been the best today, even treating me to lunch on the way home.
Our next step will be testing hormone levels. Hopefully, we will eventually identify the problem(s).
Thanks for all the prayers! I'm confident that they helped me stay calm today.
Not to be dissuaded by snow and icy roads, we made the trek to the hospital this morning. After getting checked in, I was told to change into hospital gowns. Thankfully, these gowns were modest, because I was going to be in them for a long time.
The nurse did an initial X-ray, then we proceeded to wait for my doctor. He had been in the building early today, so they assumed he would show up. Nope. The nurse called the clinic and everyone tried paging him. Finally, they got him. Apparently, there had been a communication mixup, and he would arrive in forty-five minutes if we wanted to wait. Since this is the only day the procedure could be done this month, we were going to wait as long as needed.
I'm glad we did. My doctor showed up, and I have to say that he was worth the wait. They had suggested trying to get another doctor to perform the HSG, but I'm very glad we didn't go that route. I would guess that the doctor makes a huge difference in the experience. He is very good at explaining things and goes out of his way to make me comfortable, even in the midst of pain.
While this procedure is not a walk in the park, I can emphatically say it was NOT as painful as childbirth. I would describe it as awkward with a side of severe, localized cramping. Thankfully, the most painful part was pretty quick.
You may remember that I was hoping for slight blockage to be removed with minimal amounts of pain. Well, the test showed no problems. While relieved that no problems were found, we were a little disappointed to not get answers. The doctor explained that he is very encouraged to not find problems at the HSG phase, as any problems would be difficult to fix and would likely point to IVF as the only option. So, that makes us feel better.
I also told him about some random weird symptoms I've had. He listened and relieved a lot of my fears. A good doctor sure makes a difference. And so does a sympathetic, gentle, and patient husband. C has been the best today, even treating me to lunch on the way home.
Our next step will be testing hormone levels. Hopefully, we will eventually identify the problem(s).
Thanks for all the prayers! I'm confident that they helped me stay calm today.
Made It, Now Waiting
The roads were slippery, but we made it to the hospital. Now we are waiting in a big room with scary machines, tools, and vials. Anyone want to trade places with me?
Sunday, March 16, 2014
HSG: To Be Tomorrow or To Be Delayed?
The temperature nearly hit 70 yesterday. A few minutes ago, snow started falling and is expected to stack up to five inches. We live in an area where everything shuts down at the first sign of snow. My HSG is scheduled for tomorrow at 11.
A few weeks ago, we enjoyed several days of very warm weather before my lab appointment, only to wake up on that day to a snow storm and closed clinic. The HSG was supposed to happen even a few weeks before that, but was delayed due to the clinic and hospital schedules. So, we've officially made zero progress in our "aggressive plan."
I'm hopeful that the HSG will happen tomorrow. Obviously, the hospital can't close. We are determined to go unless they call and cancel. Ideally, we won't have to risk our lives on treacherous roads, but we are planning to try.
Prayers are appreciated. I will try to post updates along the way.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
"Aggressive Plan" - Take 2
If at first your test is delayed, try again the next month.
Last month, scheduling conflicts between the hospital and my doctor made the HSG (hysterosalpingogram) impossible.
This month, it is officially scheduled for next Monday, March 17, at 11 a.m (EST).
Please pray that the test would go well and that the Lord will guide our emotions. I have seen horror stories online about awful HSG experiences, like "it was as painful as childbirth" and other such encouragement. If you had one of those experiences, please don't tell me. My fear doesn't need to be fed.
On the other hand, I have also heard, "I got pregnant right away after having an HSG." I have mentioned before that hope is dangerous because it can lead to disappointment. I don't want us to expect too much from the HSG and be disappointed again.
I obviously would like for the HSG to involve minimal pain; however, that would likely mean a continued lack of answers. The HSG is supposed to show and possibly clear blockage in the fallopian tubes. If there is blockage, the test is more painful. If there is blockage and it is removed, chances for conception increase. If there is no blockage, we would still have no idea what is wrong.
All of that to say, maybe we should all pray that there is a tiny, loose bit of blockage that will move easily (and painlessly?) and that the test would be all the help we need. And yes, I would like fries with that.
Last month, scheduling conflicts between the hospital and my doctor made the HSG (hysterosalpingogram) impossible.
This month, it is officially scheduled for next Monday, March 17, at 11 a.m (EST).
Please pray that the test would go well and that the Lord will guide our emotions. I have seen horror stories online about awful HSG experiences, like "it was as painful as childbirth" and other such encouragement. If you had one of those experiences, please don't tell me. My fear doesn't need to be fed.
On the other hand, I have also heard, "I got pregnant right away after having an HSG." I have mentioned before that hope is dangerous because it can lead to disappointment. I don't want us to expect too much from the HSG and be disappointed again.
I obviously would like for the HSG to involve minimal pain; however, that would likely mean a continued lack of answers. The HSG is supposed to show and possibly clear blockage in the fallopian tubes. If there is blockage, the test is more painful. If there is blockage and it is removed, chances for conception increase. If there is no blockage, we would still have no idea what is wrong.
All of that to say, maybe we should all pray that there is a tiny, loose bit of blockage that will move easily (and painlessly?) and that the test would be all the help we need. And yes, I would like fries with that.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Not According To Plan
Remember how we chose the "aggressive" route for infertility testing and treatment? Guess how many of the things we planned to do this month actually happened. Zero. The HSG couldn't happen due to a scheduling conflict between our doctor and the hospital.
I was supposed to have several hormones checked through blood tests yesterday. On Sunday, it was about 70 degrees here. Yesterday, we had a snowstorm that caused the clinic to close, which meant that my test was canceled. Since yesterday was THE day to check those particular hormones, we have to wait another month for that one, too.
It feels like we are spinning our wheels. C and I had both been pretty down about infertility before my appointment in early February. Then, the appointment gave us hope. We had a plan and were going to be aggressive about the next steps. So far, nothing has gone according to plan. These road bumps are an extra reminder of other things that haven't gone according to plan, like having children.
One purpose of this blog is to provide an honest insight into infertility. If I put a positive or hopeful spin on everything, it won't be honest. Sometimes, hope is elusive and we just cannot think of positives. In these times, sins of selfishness, bitterness, anger, and envy creep in. Sometimes, the tears just flow.
I was supposed to have several hormones checked through blood tests yesterday. On Sunday, it was about 70 degrees here. Yesterday, we had a snowstorm that caused the clinic to close, which meant that my test was canceled. Since yesterday was THE day to check those particular hormones, we have to wait another month for that one, too.
It feels like we are spinning our wheels. C and I had both been pretty down about infertility before my appointment in early February. Then, the appointment gave us hope. We had a plan and were going to be aggressive about the next steps. So far, nothing has gone according to plan. These road bumps are an extra reminder of other things that haven't gone according to plan, like having children.
One purpose of this blog is to provide an honest insight into infertility. If I put a positive or hopeful spin on everything, it won't be honest. Sometimes, hope is elusive and we just cannot think of positives. In these times, sins of selfishness, bitterness, anger, and envy creep in. Sometimes, the tears just flow.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
A Minor Update
The next test has been scheduled for Monday at 4 p.m. This one is just a blood test for hormone levels: progesterone and prolactin. I'm not sure if they are testing anything else.
Historically, Needles and I have not been friends. As a child, hysterics were definitely involved in any meeting. As long as we continue the infertility testing and treatment process, Needles and I will be meeting frequently. If you are praying for us, please pray that this aspect of our testing would be no big deal.
When I had my progesterone checked last year, the phlebotomist (an awesome word for an awful job) was really good and quick. I hope for a similar experience this time around.
Historically, Needles and I have not been friends. As a child, hysterics were definitely involved in any meeting. As long as we continue the infertility testing and treatment process, Needles and I will be meeting frequently. If you are praying for us, please pray that this aspect of our testing would be no big deal.
When I had my progesterone checked last year, the phlebotomist (an awesome word for an awful job) was really good and quick. I hope for a similar experience this time around.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
So Much for "Aggressive"
We've hit a snag in our "aggressive" plan.
In any cycle, there are five days during which an HSG can be done. As a result, I am supposed to call the clinic on Day 1 to schedule the HSG for a day between Days 7 and 11. It just so happens that Days 7 and 8 are over the weekend, so we are down to three days.
This morning, the clinic called to tell me that the hospital facility was only available one day and that my doctor is not available that day. So, we have to wait until at least next month.
While I wasn't exactly looking forward to the HSG, we were excited to do something that could actually increase our chances of conception. Now, we are back to observation.
Delays like this bring to mind all the "helpful" stories I have been told:
In any cycle, there are five days during which an HSG can be done. As a result, I am supposed to call the clinic on Day 1 to schedule the HSG for a day between Days 7 and 11. It just so happens that Days 7 and 8 are over the weekend, so we are down to three days.
This morning, the clinic called to tell me that the hospital facility was only available one day and that my doctor is not available that day. So, we have to wait until at least next month.
While I wasn't exactly looking forward to the HSG, we were excited to do something that could actually increase our chances of conception. Now, we are back to observation.
Delays like this bring to mind all the "helpful" stories I have been told:
- "I know so many people who got pregnant as soon as they started the adoption process."
- "My friend got pregnant as soon as she scheduled an infertility appointment."
They make me wonder if God will come through with a last-minute miracle, if He just wanted us to take steps in obedience but really planned to have us conceive naturally anyway.
He could do that. Or, He may not be done refining us through infertility yet. With a mixture of hope and reservation, we endeavor to trust Him as we wait.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Hope Mixed with New Fears
Dear Lord,
I need to call today to schedule the dreaded hysterosalpingogram (HSG). As miserable as the test/procedure will be, I am hopeful that it will be successful. If it's Your will, may we conceive right away as a result of the procedure. Do I dare to hope?
Now that we are taking aggressive steps, the concept of actually being pregnant brings more fears:
I need to call today to schedule the dreaded hysterosalpingogram (HSG). As miserable as the test/procedure will be, I am hopeful that it will be successful. If it's Your will, may we conceive right away as a result of the procedure. Do I dare to hope?
Now that we are taking aggressive steps, the concept of actually being pregnant brings more fears:
- Miscarriage - Not getting pregnant is painful; getting pregnant and losing the baby would be heartbreaking.
- Identity - This one surprised me and seems ridiculous, but is real nonetheless. Now that I've started a public infertility blog, infertility has become a bigger part of my identity. If I become pregnant, I will no longer fit into that category.
- Changes - I have never liked change. I am used to my infertile self. What would I do as a pregnant self? I don't like infertility, but at least it is familiar.
Lord, please pluck the lies and fears out of my mind and leave only Your truth.
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Waiting
Any attempt at "fixing" infertility involves a lot of waiting. Even though we have a plan now, we are waiting. Waiting for the right cycle day on which to call the clinic to schedule an appointment that we will have to wait another week for. Then, we will wait for another day to do one test and a later day to do another test. After the tests are done, we will wait for results. Based on the results, we will wait for the next cycle to try medication or schedule more tests.
I am tired of waiting.
 |
| Ecclesiastes 3:1 |
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
A Doctor and a Plan
We now have a doctor and a plan. Our appointment yesterday went very well. Praise the Lord!
I was very nervous before the appointment, but felt a lot better after leaving. We chose an "aggressive" plan, so unpleasant tests are before me. Somehow, it still feels good to have a plan.
The doctor was very good. He listened well and presented options, but made it very clear that the decisions are up to us. Unlike our last appointment, we did not feel pressured in any particular direction.
My husband said it felt like the three of us were a team making a game plan together. What a blessing! When asked what our chances of conceiving are, the doctor replied, "Well, you are two healthy young people, so that's in your favor; however, you are two healthy young people who have been TTC for three years, so that's a strike against you, too." We are thankful that the doctor is realistic rather than a self-proclaimed miracle worker.
I have decided that a great doctor will listen to your questions about alternative medicine, discuss the possibilities with you, and then humbly give a recommendation. Rather than disregarding my question about chiropractic care, our doctor acknowledged that volumes have been written about infertility and that factors are complex. He said that it might be helpful to receive chiropractic care; however, if our finances are limited and we have already tried chiropractic care, he recommends focusing on testing for now. I was relieved, because chiropractic care was expensive.
For those of you who want details, the next month will involve an HSG, ovulation prediction, and blood work to test progesterone and prolactin. Onward we go!
I was very nervous before the appointment, but felt a lot better after leaving. We chose an "aggressive" plan, so unpleasant tests are before me. Somehow, it still feels good to have a plan.
The doctor was very good. He listened well and presented options, but made it very clear that the decisions are up to us. Unlike our last appointment, we did not feel pressured in any particular direction.
My husband said it felt like the three of us were a team making a game plan together. What a blessing! When asked what our chances of conceiving are, the doctor replied, "Well, you are two healthy young people, so that's in your favor; however, you are two healthy young people who have been TTC for three years, so that's a strike against you, too." We are thankful that the doctor is realistic rather than a self-proclaimed miracle worker.
I have decided that a great doctor will listen to your questions about alternative medicine, discuss the possibilities with you, and then humbly give a recommendation. Rather than disregarding my question about chiropractic care, our doctor acknowledged that volumes have been written about infertility and that factors are complex. He said that it might be helpful to receive chiropractic care; however, if our finances are limited and we have already tried chiropractic care, he recommends focusing on testing for now. I was relieved, because chiropractic care was expensive.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Today Is the Day
We've been TTC for so long, that I can no longer imagine actually being successful. A few years ago, pregnancy seemed just around the corner. Now, I do not expect it at all. I can no longer even imagine a positive pregnancy test.
I have the first appointment with a new doctor today. This is the day we resume testing and pursue treatment. I expected to be excited, but fear is winning. I feel nervous about many things, and some of them surprise me:
I have the first appointment with a new doctor today. This is the day we resume testing and pursue treatment. I expected to be excited, but fear is winning. I feel nervous about many things, and some of them surprise me:
- Hope - I am afraid to begin hoping again. Hopes can be crushed. Skepticism feels safe. Expecting nothing and getting something good is great. Expecting something and getting nothing is painful.
- Pain - The medical community has devised several methods of torture (also known as tests and procedures) to identify and treat fertility issues. I don't know which ones will be prescribed for me, but they will almost certainly involve physical pain. I'm not a huge fan of pain.
- Decisions - How far are we willing to go in the process? How many thousands of dollars are we willing to spend? How much will we put my body through? Which medical advice to we listen to? Infertility is a constant web of decisions. Decisions are hard.
- Answers - We have tentative limits for how far we will go in the testing/treatment process. If my husband would not be willing to undergo a procedure recommended for me, we say we will be done. If I am put on hormones that make me crazy, we say we will be done. We say these things; however, the decision to actually stop and walk away would be SO hard. Heartbreaking. So, I am afraid of answers.
- No Answers - I think that my worst fear (maybe after pain) is that we will not receive any answers. Many people fall into a category called "unexplained infertility." Their tests come back normal. Doctors cannot find anything wrong. And yet, they are unable to conceive. They have reached "the end of the line." I don't want to get anywhere near the end of the line. I want them to do one test, see a problem, fix it, and be done. Is that too much to ask? (Probably).
So, with much trepidation, we prepare for the appointment. Prayers are appreciated.
I'm not sure how many details I will post, as I have no idea what to expect. I will try to share what might be appropriate and helpful. Thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment.
I'm not sure how many details I will post, as I have no idea what to expect. I will try to share what might be appropriate and helpful. Thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
The chiropractor said that some women have been able to conceive after chiropractic care. She also took x-rays and saw that my pelvis is fused to a lower vertebrae. She said it likely was a birth defect.
I am actually relieved to find something “wrong.” So far, everything tested has come back normal. She gave me a heel lift to rotate my pelvis correctly. Here’s hoping!
I am actually relieved to find something “wrong.” So far, everything tested has come back normal. She gave me a heel lift to rotate my pelvis correctly. Here’s hoping!
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
HSG?
HSG. They will do what, how? As painful as childbirth and very expensive? Thanks to my internet research, I need to think about that one.
Shouldn’t we fully rule out the progesterone drop first?
Shouldn’t we fully rule out the progesterone drop first?
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Test Results
Tests confirmed that male factor infertility is not the problem. That means it’s me, not him. More tests and treatments are available for female factor infertility, so I guess that is good news.
My progesterone level is good, so the doctor said that’s not the problem. I’m not a doctor, but I think the level would need to be checked on more than one day. Couldn’t it be normal one day and still drop too early? She wants to schedule an HSG. I feel like we have been put on the one-size-fits-all infertility track. I also need to look up HSG.
My progesterone level is good, so the doctor said that’s not the problem. I’m not a doctor, but I think the level would need to be checked on more than one day. Couldn’t it be normal one day and still drop too early? She wants to schedule an HSG. I feel like we have been put on the one-size-fits-all infertility track. I also need to look up HSG.
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