Not According To Plan

Remember how we chose the "aggressive" route for infertility testing and treatment? Guess how many of the things we planned to do this month actually happened. Zero. The HSG couldn't happen due to a scheduling conflict between our doctor and the hospital.

I was supposed to have several hormones checked through blood tests yesterday. On Sunday, it was about 70 degrees here. Yesterday, we had a snowstorm that caused the clinic to close, which meant that my test was canceled. Since yesterday was THE day to check those particular hormones, we have to wait another month for that one, too.

It feels like we are spinning our wheels. C and I had both been pretty down about infertility before my appointment in early February. Then, the appointment gave us hope. We had a plan and were going to be aggressive about the next steps. So far, nothing has gone according to plan. These road bumps are an extra reminder of other things that haven't gone according to plan, like having children.

One purpose of this blog is to provide an honest insight into infertility. If I put a positive or hopeful spin on everything, it won't be honest. Sometimes, hope is elusive and we just cannot think of positives. In these times, sins of selfishness, bitterness, anger, and envy creep in. Sometimes, the tears just flow.