Friday, February 14, 2014

IVF: Not for Us

While exploring other infertility blogs, I have been amazed at how far some couples go in pursuit of biological children. Some people have been doing tests and treatments for ten years, others are finally pregnant after multiple rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF), and many have suffered miscarriages.

At first, I was a little discouraged. Then, I remembered that everyone has a different story. For every couple whose infertility journey stretches several years, I am sure there are many who experience a "quick fix." The couples who conceive after an HSG or one round of Clomid likely see no need to start a blog or even share their story. So, it makes sense that many infertility blogs are about longer journeys. That doesn't mean ours has to be.

Even so, we could reach a point at which IVF is the next step. We officially decided today that we would not take that step for several reasons:

  1. We are seeking answers. Obviously, we would be thrilled if our infertility tests and treatment helped us have biological children. If we chose not to seek a diagnosis, we may regret it in the future.
  2. We love adoption. Actually, we always planned to have a few biological children and then adopt a few more. As a result, having a biological child is not ultimate for us. Adoption is a powerful display of the Gospel, and we would be thrilled to expand our family in that way.
  3. We could not justify the expense for something so unsure. My understanding is that one round of IVF is around $12,000. Many people who eventually conceive through IVF experience several failed rounds first. From what I have heard, the success rate is supposed to be about thirty-three percent. While our financial needs are met, our bank accounts are not exactly overflowing. If we are going to spend $12,000 to $36,000 (yikes!) on potentially building a family, we would rather choose adoption.
I can see how couples go the IVF route. The desire to experience pregnancy and have biological children is strong and good. When doctors recommend the next step, it is hard to walk away. While I have some ethical concerns about the IVF "industry," I am not condemning people who carefully go that route. We simply have set our limit somewhere before IVF.


  1. This is an amazing presentation about the ethical considerations of IVF:

    1. Thanks for the link, Jess. I think any one considering IVF should interact with the points mentioned.

      The point of view presented is definitely heavy-hitting. I don't think that the church can take that stance without also taking a firmer position on hormonal birth control, which is another important and very sensitive topic.

  2. I love your point about seeking answers instead of just masking the problems with medicine and procedures! Hope you find some good ones xoxo

  3. I find this so interesting! I read a few blogs of ladies that are ttc kinda just by coincidence, not that I was looking for them, and I really appreciate your thoughts on your journey and where you will and won't go. I'm sure if we would have had troubles ttc I would have wanted answers too, you never know if it could be part of an underlying problem and I think it's just in our human nature to want to know.
    We've been on the journey to adoption for the last two and a half years and it's been hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

    I hope you get some answers soon!